How to Have Sex in a Wheelchair with Your Spouse

Sex is a pleasurable activity every married person ought to enjoy.

It’s an aspect of marriage that shouldn’t be overlooked. It can be responsible for making the bond between couples get stronger and it can also be the reason a marriage falls apart.

Having sex with your spouse can become a challenge if your spouse gets confined to a wheelchair.

You may be quick to write off the possibility of enjoying sex with your spouse because he or she is using a wheelchair.

However, you can still enjoy sex if you equip yourself with knowledge of the various sex styles you can try out and how to go about them.

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Some Sex Styles You Should Try Out

There are various sex styles you can enjoy with your spouse even while he or she is using a wheelchair. Below are some of them.

1) Modified Missionary

The missionary style is probably the most common and easiest sex style between couples. Interestingly, people having disabilities can also enjoy this style with their spouses. You only need to modify the style to suit the disability of your spouse.

It is suitable for couples where the woman is the one having the disability. In the missionary style, your spouse ought to lie flat on her back while you position yourself between her legs and take control of thrusting in and out of her.

In a case where your spouse has no control over the lower part of her body, this sex position can be quite difficult to achieve. She might not be able to close and open her legs as you desire.

You can modify the style by bringing her to the edge of the bed so that only her back lays on the bed while her legs rest on two separate chairs behind you.

Alternatively, you can rest her legs on your shoulders. The purpose of this is to allow you to penetrate better and also play with her erogenous zones without struggling to lift her legs. This style is also useful if she’s obese.

Related: How to Kiss Someone in a Wheelchair Correctly

2) Face-to-Face

As a woman, you can enjoy sex to the fullest with your spouse in a wheelchair, provided that the wheelchair’s armrests are removable. You can sit on your partner’s thighs while facing him and let him slip into you. Using this position gives you good control over sex, especially if he is disabled in most parts of his body.

As you sit on him, cuddle him and kiss him on sensual parts of his body such as his lips, neck, ears, and cheeks. You can also direct his hands to touch you at the places you desire while having sex with him.

This position is very intimate. It should be one of the easiest positions to try with your disabled partner. However, ensure that sitting on your partner’s laps won’t cause him pains before you try this position.

3) Sitting Doggy

The sitting doggy is a modified style of the doggy sex style. Try this position if your husband can’t rest his weight on his knees or stand for long while he thrust into you from your back.

He can sit comfortably on his wheelchair or any other chair while you turn your back against him and let him penetrate you.

This position can, however, be exhausting.

You can avoid getting exhausted quickly by leaning on a table in front of you while you have sex. Guide his hands to fondle your breasts and stimulate other erogenous spots just like in the face-to-face position.

You can always switch from this position to other positions to avoid wearing out easily. This position is also an alternative to the face-to-face style. It’s useful in situations where you want to avoid resting your weight on your partner’s laps.

4) Spooning

Spooning is a position where you lie sideways with your partner and you allow your partner to penetrate you from behind. It’s similar to when you place two spoons side by side, lapping their bowls into each other.

This style is suitable if your partner, or both of you, uses wheelchairs as a result of obesity. It doesn’t require so much energy like other sex styles.

Spooning prevents couples from straining their muscles. This makes the style also suitable for people with muscular and joint pains, especially aged couples.

Related: Best Disabled Cabins on Cruise Ships

Tips to Having More Intimate Sex with Your Spouse on Wheelchair

You can make sex with your partner to be fun rather than an obligation you have to fulfill. Here are some tips to help you.

1) Communicate Effectively

It’s possible that after trying all the techniques you think your partner will find pleasurable, they may still be bored from having sex with you. Everyone has different tastes in sexual acts. Possibly, you haven’t discovered what your partner enjoys more simply because you haven’t asked.

Your partner’s disability may have affected some of their erogenous spots. Ask where he or she likes to be touched. And as well, pay attention to where your partner guides you to touch.

All these make up effective communication during sex.

Related: Top 8 Good Activities for Elderly that Have Limited Mobility

2) Work Towards Each Other’s Orgasm Differently

You might be making the mistake to assume that your partner reaches orgasm same time as you or that they should reach orgasm only from penetrative sex. Your partner’s disability can change the way he or she reaches orgasm.

Know what makes your spouse reach orgasm and help them reach it either before or after you do.

3) Be Open to Try New Sex Positions

Try some new sex positions with your partner and see if it works for both of you. There are lots of magazines and websites you can look up to check some of these positions. If you’re not sure what will be safe to try, seek the advice of your doctor or sex therapist.

However, seek the consent of your partner before you try anything new, and ensure that he or she is cool with it. Also, make sure your new sexual act doesn’t cause your spouse pain in any way.

4) Try Other Alternatives

You might find it almost impossible to enjoy penetrative sex with your spouse as a result of his or her disability. This doesn’t mean you should quit your sex life with your spouse. Try other alternatives like engaging in foreplay and oral sex.

Give your partner a deep kiss, give a sensual massage, and stimulate his or her erogenous spots as alternatives to having sex.

How to Have Sex in a Wheelchair with Your Spouse


My love for the disabled community started when I helped a blind man cross the road at around age 6. Fast forward to decades later, I became the caregiver of my grandma, who lost her ability to speak in her 90s. This blog helps me to produce helpful content that aligns with my passion.

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